Getting Ahead: What Makes Your Soul Resonate Most Deeply?

Knowing your deepest values is relevant to all aspects of your life. It impacts your relationships, career, home and work environments, wealth, health, family, religion and spirituality, purpose, travel, education, status, fame, feelings, experiences, growth, achievement…everything.

If you don’t know what you value most, how will you be able to direct your life in the way that is the most optimal, meaningful, and fulfilling for you? What will you do when faced with a life-altering decision, with maybe only a few seconds or minutes to decide? How will you make these decisions? Will you make them in the spur of the moment, e.g., “Let’s get married?” Would you rather flip a coin? Heads, keep the person on life support; tails, cancel it?

Knowing what you value most helps you to make difficult decisions and prioritize things in your life. To set your foundation, you need to know what it is you value, and what it is you value most of all.

The following two exercises will help you identify your deepest values. You can do one, the other, or both.

Exercise: “Put Your Cards on the Table”
Take a stack of 36 3×5 cards (or cut pieces of paper), all the same size and color. Spend 5–10 minutes writing only one word or concept on each card. On the cards, identify:
•    4 life roles that are important to you, e.g., teacher, wife, daughter, husband
•    4 experiences that are the most meaningful to you in your life so far
•    4 work roles that you enjoy the most
•    4 things you value, e.g., a sports car, an heirloom, a toy, an object
•    4 people
•    4 places
•    4 esoteric values, like beauty, love, harmony, success, wealth, health
•    4 dreams, things you have wanted to be or do or have
•    4 honors you have received or acknowledgments. (You may add to the list if you feel something is missing.)

Then, lay all the cards on the floor or table face up. Look them over and, when you are ready, begin by removing the three that are least important to you. Then, every 10 seconds, remove three more. Be sure to set a stopwatch or have a friend call time. This is very important. You have to respond quickly from your gut and not your head. Don’t think about it. Repeat this process until you get down to your last nine, and then put them aside in a separate pile from the first 27 removed. Keep going till you only have three left on the table.

Now you know what you top nine values are, and more importantly, your top three.

Second Exercise: “100 Values”
Divide an 8.5×11 sheet of paper into three columns. In the first column, write down everything you value, i.e., life, money, success, happiness, beauty, health, relationships, love…you get idea. Spend 5–10 minutes doing this.

Then go down each item on your list and decide one-by-one which is more important to you. Whichever wins out, go on to the next item. In 3 seconds, do it again. For example, say health won over happiness, cross out happiness and go to the next on your list, love. What is more important to you, love or health? Tied? Keep them both and go on to the next item. Once you have reduced your list to ten items in the first column, reduce your top ten to your top five in the next column, and then reduce your top five to your top three in your final column.

Now you have delineated your top 10/5/3 values, and you can use this to guide you on important life questions: stay married, get married, have kids, move, go to school.

With your deepest values clearly identified, you can prioritize how to spend your time, your energy, brainpower, thoughts, and money. This is the compass from which you can make future decisions and steer your boat in the right direction for you and not just drift from point to point going nowhere or crashing on a rocky shore. You can create the optimal life for you that would likely be enjoyable, healthy, and happy.

Download Your Personal Stress Relief Card. Your Relief card is to help when you know you are off center, the stakes matter and you want to get grounded quickly. It can help in situations like an important job interview; when your kids are screaming, or when someone you love is in the hospital. We all do better when we can remain calm, be present and respond optimally. This card will help you do just that. Keep it handy. Put it in your purse or wallet. Use it in good health!

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Article Author: Roslyn Whitney is a spiritual life coach, combining her psychology Masters with the world of spirituality and the advanced transformational tools of HPT, NLP, and meditation.  She is the creator of the Life Mastery Program which helps you focus on the most significant thing to move your forward in life. She focuses on helping people transform in love and work – to create beautiful and spectacularly fulfilling lives. www.roslynwhitney.com

Photo Source: courtesy of shirophoto / Free Digital Photos